September.

My dance journey has definitely been fulfilling the past few months despite its ups and down. Words can’t even express how honoured I am to be part of NRA Neko and how proud I am of us for clinching that gold not just for us or NRA, but also for Tina and Summer as well. Such blessing to have been able to be part of this journey with them despite my initial saltiness for not getting into the hip-hop item. It definitely was not an easy journey for us but we did it. (‘: Everything stills feels surreal even up to this point, and honestly I would give anything to relive that moment again.But it’s time to look forward and achieve even greater things Clarabelle Ang. Really appreciate every single person that has been there for me throughout this journey. Not just S24, but also SDD & RPresenting 9 with Justin coaching us. It has been long since I did a more hip-hop piece and I’m honestly glad to have done it despite my basics being so damn bad and my stamina being like shit. Now that competition season is over for 2016, it’s time for our student production. Honestly, it’s not that I’m not appreciative of what I have but there are just some things that you place higher expectations on; and it just sucks to the core when you don’t get it. It brings you down to a whole new level, especially when it’s not just once or twice but repetitively that I don’t get into the item I want. It made me question myself, why didn’t I get into that? Where am I lacking? I keep telling myself that sometimes it’s just not meant to be and that when one door closes, another would open in the near future. But it’s been a month and I’m still damn salty about it honestly. Regardless, I’m definitely still going to put in effort for that one item I’m in and make it a good last production for myself. Even though it seems like I’m under performing in some areas.. Finally managed to bring some positivism back into my life recently though as I have been working on my freestyle. Improvement is definitely snail pace for me,but at least I got confirmation that I’m doing good working on my craft. Such a small encouragement can make such a huge impact on someone like me, especially I was so afraid of free-styling in front of people. Now that I just made the decision to  join an upcoming battle in 2 weeks time, let’s just make the most out of it alright Clarabelle Ang? Nobody said it was easy.

On a side note, my 19th birthday was well celebrated with my close friends and family. Nothing big but most of the people I cherish were there for me and I’m happy with that.

坂本 美智子.

Give it your all.

It’s already the 1st of July. Less than 24 hrs to S24 competition, like seriously. I feel so blessed to have been given the chance to be a part of Neko, and to learn under Tina and Summer. So much love and selflessness in the group, everyone’s come a long long way. And tomorrow, it will definitely be our time to shine. I want to do Tina and Summer proud, and also do those people who believe in me proud. No regrets on that stage tomorrow Clarabelle Ang! #nranekiyosquad #leggo

坂本 美智子.

5 months in..

After getting shitty results for Y2S2, I started my internship almost immediately. It really sucks to not be able to travel for the whole of this year, but it’s alright, I’m going to save up for my graduation trip. I’ve had namely 3 places in mind; Taiwan, Japan or Korea. All Asian countries which my travel buddy doesn’t really appreciate so she suggested New Zealand. It’s definitely an awesome place to go too, but it’s gonna cost more without a doubt. I’ve a feeling that I might end up going on 2 trips. So, I guess I have to start saving and the more I should go and audition as a scare actor for USS Halloween Horror Nights. Seems like it would be interesting, but I really hope that I would be able to manage working with intern-fyp.

Talking about intern-fyp, shit just got real man. Like literally! My partner and I have to recruit test subjects for our study and basically, collect fecal samples at various time-points throughout the study. How gross can it get right? I literally went ‘dear god’ as I realised what my project is about. I guess we have to get our shit together (literally xD) and hang in there till this whole thing, which is gonna last all year round, ends. #sighpie At least I have my partner with me I guess..? Sometimes I still wonder if I regret choosing the poly route, especially since I realised that I might not be able to afford university tuition fees. (not that my GPA is that great either) I really wonder how different my future would be if I went JC instead, but it’s too later to dwell on it anyways. I managed to meet great people at poly, so it’s all cool. Let’s just move on and never look back.

So apart from intern-fyp, I recently took part in 2 dance competitions, SDD and Rpresenting9. We trained for about 1 and a half month and even though we didn’t get through to finals for SDD, I feel that I have indeed improved and learnt alot from this journey. We may not be good enough yet, but what’s more important is that with every experience you gain, you grow. Next time, or maybe even next next time, we’ll get there I believe. It’s never an easy route. No regrets because I definitely gave my all and it was our best run thus far. As for Rpresenting9, we managed to get into finals but didn’t place top 3. Mixed feelings about this one because I felt like one of the judges didn’t understand our item, thus couldn’t appreciate the dance as much as we would have liked him to. (It’s fine though because we received a very big encouragement from another judge) We’ll just have to practice even harder >< Really appreciative towards Justin for guiding us through all this and still being there for us even after we graduated for a few years. Till our next competition together.. (: My next competition would be S24 which would be happening in July. This is my first time attempting street jazz as a genre for a competition. Such an eye opener, definitely will do my best and learn from this journey too from 2 awesome choreographers. I aim for us to get top 3 for S24. Looks like I’m really going all out for dance this year, I never felt so alive as tired as I truly am. Such irony, but being able to fight for your passion is really a blessing.

I’ve always tried to look at life with an easygoing manner, whereby things that are meant to be will be, and those that aren’t just let it be. No point rushing into things or forcing things out. Same goes for relationship, no matter how much you yearn it, you just have to go with the flow and then the right one will come. I’m just afraid that I mistaken the feeling of liking someone’s companionship as the feeling of liking someone. The older I get, the more wary I get and the more questions and “requirements” I have. I just want to love fiercely and freely. Is this what modern dating is? If so, I really want nothing to do with it. Can’t I just meet someone and fall in love gradually just like in the story books? I guess fantasy and reality can never fall on the same page. I recently met someone, but I’m so confused. I’m stuck in the vicious cycle of liking his company, to missing him, to really wanting to have nothing to do with him. I like him enough to want to kiss him, but is this all there is to that? He seems so certain that I’m the one for him, but I’m far from being so sure. So many what ifs in my mind, since when did I become such a critical person?

Anyway, I’m taking my time during the competition period to confirm my feelings and all. I just don’t want this to be a waste of our time, nor do I want to hurt his feelings. Time will tell I guess? Ugh.. I hate modern dating like seriously. Someone put me into a 1000 years coma thanks, so I can just live in my fantasy world. :\ As if.

I’ll try to update more often. I’m just… too lazy ._.

坂本 美智子.

Good luck, bad luck. Too soon to tell..

2016 really started with a bang. With a bang indeed, what I had thought was good luck turned out to hit me in the face instead. With a momentary happiness of 1 day, bad things started to fold out throughout the month. First was, I didn’t get into any of the committee that I wanted to join. I really don’t know what went wrong but obviously it affected me in more ways than one. Haven’t exactly got the time to properly “grief” about it, but oh wells life is progressing at a much too fast pace for me to even stop and think about it. I guess it has it’s pros and cons, save me the time to stop and think too much.Life is progressing at such a fast pace where everything is thrown at me that I have to learn to react and adapt even faster, without lifting much emotions. I feel like a machine now. Only thing that’s keeping me alive is dance… I hope that is not taken away from me too.

坂本 美智子.

Ending 2015. Embracing 2016.

Processed with VSCO with hb1 presetThis year really had its ups and downs. Everything happened in a blur; from GL, to Danzation, to working hard for my GPA’s sake, to an awesome year end trip at Thailand. Time really flew by in a flash in 2015 and I dare say I did not regret anything this year. And next year, I have so many things I want to accomplish. Exco & competitions, but I need to set my priorities right because school is really demanding in year 3. I really really hope that I can juggle everything next year, while not missing out on any of the chances. I don’t exactly regret missing out on social life for dance because it is what I love to do, but I still need to find a balance between both and am grateful for friends who stick by me no matter what. Don’t even know if I can and will continue dancing after Poly when I have so many things to consider. Really dreading when I graduate from Poly but that’s just how life is. Just trying to enjoy the little things in life and make the most out of everything. Turning 18 has still yet to hit me hard but it will come soon I believe. No wonder they say Poly is the time you enjoy the most.

3 resolutions for 2016.

  1. Make the effort to document down more events in my life.
  2. Try to give more while complaining lesser.
  3. Monitor my language more.

2016, please be a good year.

坂本 美智子.

Humility and Hunger.

I swear I’m a lousy blogger. It’s just that I’m lazy, and each post takes me quite long to finish so I keep procrastinating. But I guess it’s time to update my life at this juncture. The first half of Year 2 is already over, time really flew in 2015. My GPA was at a all time low of 2.8 after GL prep. With such a result, I can’t fucking enter any Science degree man. And the option of studying overseas is so ridiculously expensive. I’m still thinking if getting a loan is worth it to get a degree overseas, but so far my hypothesis is that it wouldn’t be. So obviously I had some serious waking up to do, otherwise my future would really be jeopardised. I really took matters into my own hands and bucked the shit up this semester, be it taking down more notes in class, having more consultation or whatsoever to get my GPA going on the right track. But still, not all the modules really clicked with me so I am not very confident of my results which would be released this coming Friday. It’s surprisingly much faster this time round I wonder why, but I really hope that with all the conscientious mugging I did like some no life idiot would have done me justice. I freaking travelled to school early and left there only when the security guard chased me out just to study. Some would find it ridiculous, travelling all the way to school just to study but what to do if you house is seriously so anti-studying, totally not conducive for me at all. My aim is to pull it up above 3.2 this semester and I will have to work harder next semester to pull it up again. Sometimes, I really think back and have a tinge of regret not going to JC. But hey, I got to meet all these important people in my life because I came here so I’m still glad I came. SU has really made an impact on me. I learnt many things from freshie to subcomm and then to GL. It definitely hasn’t been easy, but hey only the strongest will survive right? Always stay humble and be willing to learn, be it from your mistakes or not. Needless to say, dancing is also like that. Always stay humble and hungry. During those tired times, keep reminding yourself why you even started in the first place. Never lose your focus and the passion. It is only human to feel disappointed when you don’t get something you want. I know you will be disheartened but take some time and look at the bigger picture. Doesn’t mean that by losing this chance, you will be shot down forever. Learn from it, understand why is it like that. Try to look at it in a positive light despite the fact that it stings. Just be a better dancer than the one you were yesterday Clarabelle. I know it’s a pity that you only get to do one thing for your first and only recital in your poly life, but make it your best one since it is the only one. Just keep getting better and I’m sure it will get better in the future. I hope to find the feeling of dancing in a close family again, seeing everyone work hard together towards a common goal was just amazing. Passion.

“Good things worth having don’t come easily.”

坂本 美智子.

2015 is the year to embrace changes.

I guess I’m quite into all those horoscope, astrology beliefs. Every year, I have this habit of checking my horoscope predictions for the year. Well yes, by the time it is halfway into the year I would have forgotten most of the stuff already. But I still like to read up and maybe set abit of my expectations. So here is 2015’s summary. Maybe a few months down the road I would be reading this blog post and go “Ooohh” and “Ahhhh”.

It is said that 2015 is a good year for the Libra. There will definitely be changes that impacts your life in the long run so learn to embrace the changes. The first half of the year will be brimming with social activities. Around April , good opportunities will be knocking on your door, and it may lead to some positive changes in life. From April to Aug, you will face some tests/challenges in life, but you will improve from there and learn valuable lessons. Things will start to reveal themselves around your birthday month.

Generally, the highlight is that you will grow as a person throughout the months and if you look at things the right way, it will benefit you greatly. Relationship and communication is key.

As for relationship predictions…

It is hard to say if you will meet someone throughout the year that matters to you. You have a different perspective on relationships this year and that serves as a positive note which may bring about the chance of meeting someone new.

The difference is that you’re no longer worried about speaking your truth for fear that someone will leave you. Truth serum is the new medicine for you. During the 1st quarter and last quarter of 2015, you will have some love luck but it is still entirely up to you.

Things to note :

Not to become over-aggressive or arrogant when people start to acknowledge your abilities

Be patient, maintain a cool temper and take the initiative whenever possible.

“Good things worth having don’t come easily.”

坂本 美智子.