After getting shitty results for Y2S2, I started my internship almost immediately. It really sucks to not be able to travel for the whole of this year, but it’s alright, I’m going to save up for my graduation trip. I’ve had namely 3 places in mind; Taiwan, Japan or Korea. All Asian countries which my travel buddy doesn’t really appreciate so she suggested New Zealand. It’s definitely an awesome place to go too, but it’s gonna cost more without a doubt. I’ve a feeling that I might end up going on 2 trips. So, I guess I have to start saving and the more I should go and audition as a scare actor for USS Halloween Horror Nights. Seems like it would be interesting, but I really hope that I would be able to manage working with intern-fyp.
Talking about intern-fyp, shit just got real man. Like literally! My partner and I have to recruit test subjects for our study and basically, collect fecal samples at various time-points throughout the study. How gross can it get right? I literally went ‘dear god’ as I realised what my project is about. I guess we have to get our shit together (literally xD) and hang in there till this whole thing, which is gonna last all year round, ends. #sighpie At least I have my partner with me I guess..? Sometimes I still wonder if I regret choosing the poly route, especially since I realised that I might not be able to afford university tuition fees. (not that my GPA is that great either) I really wonder how different my future would be if I went JC instead, but it’s too later to dwell on it anyways. I managed to meet great people at poly, so it’s all cool. Let’s just move on and never look back.
So apart from intern-fyp, I recently took part in 2 dance competitions, SDD and Rpresenting9. We trained for about 1 and a half month and even though we didn’t get through to finals for SDD, I feel that I have indeed improved and learnt alot from this journey. We may not be good enough yet, but what’s more important is that with every experience you gain, you grow. Next time, or maybe even next next time, we’ll get there I believe. It’s never an easy route. No regrets because I definitely gave my all and it was our best run thus far. As for Rpresenting9, we managed to get into finals but didn’t place top 3. Mixed feelings about this one because I felt like one of the judges didn’t understand our item, thus couldn’t appreciate the dance as much as we would have liked him to. (It’s fine though because we received a very big encouragement from another judge) We’ll just have to practice even harder >< Really appreciative towards Justin for guiding us through all this and still being there for us even after we graduated for a few years. Till our next competition together.. (: My next competition would be S24 which would be happening in July. This is my first time attempting street jazz as a genre for a competition. Such an eye opener, definitely will do my best and learn from this journey too from 2 awesome choreographers. I aim for us to get top 3 for S24. Looks like I’m really going all out for dance this year, I never felt so alive as tired as I truly am. Such irony, but being able to fight for your passion is really a blessing.
I’ve always tried to look at life with an easygoing manner, whereby things that are meant to be will be, and those that aren’t just let it be. No point rushing into things or forcing things out. Same goes for relationship, no matter how much you yearn it, you just have to go with the flow and then the right one will come. I’m just afraid that I mistaken the feeling of liking someone’s companionship as the feeling of liking someone. The older I get, the more wary I get and the more questions and “requirements” I have. I just want to love fiercely and freely. Is this what modern dating is? If so, I really want nothing to do with it. Can’t I just meet someone and fall in love gradually just like in the story books? I guess fantasy and reality can never fall on the same page. I recently met someone, but I’m so confused. I’m stuck in the vicious cycle of liking his company, to missing him, to really wanting to have nothing to do with him. I like him enough to want to kiss him, but is this all there is to that? He seems so certain that I’m the one for him, but I’m far from being so sure. So many what ifs in my mind, since when did I become such a critical person?
Anyway, I’m taking my time during the competition period to confirm my feelings and all. I just don’t want this to be a waste of our time, nor do I want to hurt his feelings. Time will tell I guess? Ugh.. I hate modern dating like seriously. Someone put me into a 1000 years coma thanks, so I can just live in my fantasy world. As if.
I’ll try to update more often. I’m just… too lazy ._.