When it comes to you, everything seems to pale in comparison.
When it comes to you, I become more careful than before.
When it comes to you, nothing seems to be as straightforward as it should be.
I’m always too observant for my own good, too good at remembering useless details which I hope would slip from my attention. I hope it doesn’t scare you away when I say I notice everything about you. Your slightest mood and/or behavioural change is clear as daylight to me. We finally talked about her. Actually all the hers(exes), that I found out unwillingly. All the anxiety and discomfort that I’ve been masking these months as I’m afraid that the slightest trigger would make you leave me.
First was how you kept it from me that one of your ex texted you to say that she’s sorry for everything in the past. You may not think much of it but to me, no one texts their ex years after breaking up for nothing really. Plus how you deliberately went out of my sight to reply her made it even more suspicious, so you cant blame me for getting paranoid and insecure. You finally told me that you did that because you were afraid that I’d get worked up for nothing because there is nothing to worry about between you two. And I’m really glad I asked you about it because now I feel so much better and my stand is always that I trust you regardless and hence how I didn’t blow things up when I found out about it months back.
Second was how you brought up the matter of your top search on IG. And how I told you I’ve known that she was one of your exes for quite awhile because I saw you text her happy birthday. You say it’s the result of something you did long ago and can’t seem to get it away. You said she left quite an impact on you and that you just wanted to wish her happy birthday but I for one don’t understand it. I’d never ever sent a text again to any of my exes but all I can say is that I know how people may have a different stand on it. So regardless of how bitter I am still feeling, I’m really thankful that you actually opened up to tell me about it because yknow, it was driving me crazy at a certain point. All I could think about was how you were never fully over her when you started to date me. But then again back to my point. I want to trust you babe.
Then I brought up the fact that you even deleted IG posts and you explained that it was one of those girls that you dated which was just a thing of the past already. I know the fact that I caught you with Tinder made you very sorry towards me and you are constantly worried that I’d get angry because of all these that I end up leaving you.
Yes I dare not say that I’m not bitter about all these at all. Like I told you that day regardless of when, I’d still be unhappy at all these. But because I love you so much and everything you’ve done for me so far overrules all these little things that I can’t stay upset at you for so long. It tore me when you cried that day and I really don’t want to see that again.
I’m so glad that you actually opened up about all these to me. For leaving no stone unturned, I feel much better than I was before and it made me even more sure that I want to invest in an ‘us’. Let’s work on this together more shall we?
I loved you since I can’t remember when and I’ll keep loving you till I can’t forget how.